Eight Causes of Low Self-Esteem, Depression and Anxiety

By Coral DuBay
Self-esteem is a way of thinking, acting and feeling about yourself that says you respect, trust, accept and believe in yourself. It must come from within. There are many causes of low self-esteem and include:

1. Overly critical parents

2. Significant childhood loss

3. Parental abuse

4. Parental alcoholism or drug abuse

5. Parental neglect

6. Parental rejection

7. Parental over protectiveness

8. Parental overindulgence

These are wonderful ways to make sure a child always feels worthless, afraid of the world, and filled with anxiety whenever new experiences are contemplated, let alone attempted. When all a child hears or feels is neglect, rejection or criticism he has nothing to compare that with. How can he not believe he is flawed and worthless? His parents are GOD and all-knowing. He would die if he didn't have them.

Another sure-fire way of killing off self-esteem is when siblings or total strangers abuse a child physically, emotionally, sexually or spiritually. This is telling the child that the world in general is not safe and that all of life is really meant to be a huge struggle. The child has learned that their sole purpose in life is to be used by others. It may be the only "love" they have ever received. It is like someone has stamped "PLEASE USE ME" on their foreheads. Love and abuse become all mixed up.

Many young women who are branded by their peers as "loose" or "party girl" have this background. When all a girl has been taught is that her sole purpose in life is to please others and that if she gets it just right she will be loved and appreciated in return, it is little wonder she is eager to be accepted by the boys she looks up to. Any thing they ask of her she will usually do. This view of the world is so distorted that she will not be loved, appreciated or accepted and runs all sorts of serious risks to her health and future happiness.

Depression is oftentimes the immediate result of low or no self-esteem. Male children are not immune from parental mistreatment and suffer acceptance and success anxiety. Boys who think they are worthless don't excel at group activities and shy away from those social situations where they would normally be able to meet more well-adjusted peers and learn better coping skills.

For both girls and boys the fact that they have been abandoned by their most important caregivers will be registered at a deep subconscious level and will affect how they handle all their relationships going forward.

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